tell your sister to shave her snatch
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
