There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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