So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
