in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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