I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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