Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
