Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
