When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
