Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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