Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
