Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
