And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
