He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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