the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
