Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
