my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
