This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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