idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
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