We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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