considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
