i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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