How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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