U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
