i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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