Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
