He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
