remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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