I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
