It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
