i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
