im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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