that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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