I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
