Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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