did you get engaged???
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
