God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
