Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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