I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
