Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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