I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
