Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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