the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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