Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
