I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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