On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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