You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Randomize
