Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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