Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
