Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
