Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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