So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
